No, I didn't win the lottery. Nothing out of the ordinary has happened. I just found balance.
That's been the number one question I've gotten from you - the readers - this year in 2015. How do you balance it all, Mattie? It's stemmed from my being a 9 to 5'er, freelancer & entrepreneur post. And I have to admit, it wasn't easy to do.
Four years ago, I was about to start a 9 to 5 (yes, the one still have now) out of despair and my marriage was in a pretty fragile place. I was blogging, but certainly wasn't serious about it and it was more for attention than it was for creating good content. All I was concerned about was me, me, me. So, it was no wonder that my life was not only unbalanced, but completely in disarray.
Fast forward to now and I've been forced to find balance. If I wanted to stay married, be a good mother to Maizah, keep a job AND make money from my blog, it was a must. I had to change for the better and it was a rather simple (not, easy) process. I had to pull myself out of the center of every aspect of my life to find balance and become better. I had to be better to be balanced.
HUBS MATTERS, TOO
I'll be the first to admit that I really like myself. But being self worthy and self centered are two very different things. My husband knows his self worth. So he treats everyone in his life worthy. He's always thinking about others genuinely and that's one of my favorite things about him. In the past, I would think about others only if it benefitted myself - including him - and that can take a strain on your relationship. At the end of the day, everyone wants to be thought of. They want to know they matter. They want to be considered. And I'm no relationship expert, but if you can think about your spouse/significant other and consider their feelings and needs, you'll be a lot better off. Since I've thought about Hubs on a more consistent basis - not just personally but even when we work together on the podcast - our relationship has grown immensely. Having a happy husband makes me happy. And happy wife, happy life.
CUTE OUTFIT BUT WHAT ELSE?
Mattieologie has always incorporated style and beauty, but as I've grown, my content had to as well. I used to post solely to stunt and be like, "Hey! Look at my cute outfit." But now I realized that you, the readers, are much smarter than a cute outfit. And while that may serve as fun style inspo, you like content that adds value to your life. What simple questions could I answer for you guys? How is what I'm saying helping you? Adding value to your life. So I started approaching my day to day content with that in mind versus just cute outfit of the day posts. I mean, those are cute and all (I really do love shooting those for y'all...) but if you want to know how to do something and grow as a person, I would hope this blog would be a place you could turn to to do that. So my hope is that not only has my content gotten better, but it's much more balanced with stylish posts and videos AND value adding content.
HEY, DID YOU WRITE THAT DOWN?
I am notorious for thinking I'm going to remember something and not writing it down. I love planners and notebooks, but when it comes to really important stuff I just swear that I'm going to remember. I didn't. I still don't. I now write it down. In my planner, on my things to do list and if it's a really big goal, I add it to my vision board. And I'm much more thorough in my goal planning and making it a reality. Yes, you can lose 10 lbs, but how? By working out? Write out your workout plan day by day. Eating healthy? Make a meal plan. A lot of the reason we don't get things done is because we don't consider a simple task work. Just because something is simple, doesn't mean it's not work. If you have an annual goal, break it down monthly, then weekly, then daily. It's about what you do everyday versus what you do every once in a while.
[bctt tweet="It's about what you do everyday versus what you do every once in a while."]
MOMMY, MOMMY, MOMMY...
If you watch Family Guy, you get that heading... Even though Maizah is seven months old, she needs attention from me. She needs me to be present. Holding her while liking posts on Instagram just isn't the move. I try my best not to be on the computer if she's home and awake and I'm now trying my best to not be into my phone when I'm with her. It's tough because I reeeeeeeally like social media. And while I appreciate all the love Twitter, Pinterest, Instagram and Facebook, nothing there compares to making #Babyologie giggle or watching her play with her dad. She won't be a baby forever, so I'm doing my best to make sure I appreciate these short lived moments.
I'm blessed because the things I like to do come fairly easy to me. But that's a gift and a curse. If you want to do something and be great at it - even if you're good at - you're going to have to work. That's what blogging is to me. I love it, but it is work. I research and read so much on blogging that when people talk to me about it, they realize just how seriously I take it. I am obsessed with this stuff. And it wasn't until I started investing in myself, my blog and really paying attention to ALL the details of my blog that I started actually seeing results. And while I do pretty well as a blogger, I have no reason to leave my 9 to 5 situation yet. It's incredibly flexible, I work from home 70% of the year and the 10 weeks I actually do work, I get to be creative and implement my management experience. So many times I've convinced myself that I should quit once I make X amount of dollars. But because I've realized that I'm so blessed to be in a work situation like this, I'm milking it and werking it until I actually need to quit. And when I'm at work, I'm present. I'm not sneaking away doing blogger stuff or messing around. I decided that if I was gonna stay, I might as well add value.
These are a few ways that I've gotten better and balance in my life. It's so important to me because now I'm truly enjoying my family, job and business in ways I've never experienced before. Because it's no longer about me.
So if you're looking to Be Better, you're in luck because I'm hosting a free webinar this month called - wait for it - the Be Better webinar. It's a workshop I developed when I was Miss Liberia USA and now that I actually am better, I've decided to bring it back digitally. It'll be Monday, May 18 at 2p EDT and you're invited. Just sign up and I'll send you your free Be Better worksheet the morning of the webinar! Feel free to tell your friends as well.
And if you're in Atlanta, I'm hosting the first #LiveWhatYouLove brunch on my birthday weekend. On May 30, we're going to be talking about balance and how to implement The Balance Map in your life at the beautiful St. Regis Buckhead. Would love if you could join us! Read more about it here...